*** 4 Years Later

I'm in my senior year of college. I have papers due, posts due, movies due, tests to study for, scenes to memorize, journal entries to write, rehearsals to attend and practice for...I have a lot on my plate. And, it's been one of my busiest semesters in a long time.

Now, I remember when I was a freshman, 4 years ago. I tried to tackle just as much on my plate as I am now. I had school, rehearsals, and a huge social life, which was a major priority when I was younger.

On top of all these things, I was transitioning. I mean, we all were. First year of college is a major transition for anyone. But, I was coping differently. I had come to school with my best friend from home, (whoever tells you that is a good idea should be shushed before they can even get a word in.) And, we experienced a major falling-out by the end of the first semester. And, I became depressed, anxious and lost, coupled with my new found freedom at school, this was not a good mix.

What I started to do was terrible. I began taking Adderall recreationally everyday, for about 6 months, where I lost weight, remained focused and frantically "happy", and could socialize thoroughly all day without a hint of hesitation in this new, intimidating, lonely place where I had to "keep up" and feel good about it.

I stopped once I felt like I was losing control of the situation. My heart began double-beating regularly, and I seemed to have the taste of dry "death" in the back of my throat at all times, and all I could think about in the morning was taking it so I could feel good about starting my day. (That's the only way I could explain it.)

I quit. I had to. The medication was just as fulfilling as taking any black-market drug, and it took my young self a little while to realize it.

And you know where I got them? My room mate who was prescribed, addicted to cigarettes because of it, and always bountifully supplied. She could have run her own business selling them because she had so many.

ADDERALL MUST BE MADE ILLEGAL. CHILDREN MUST BE GIVEN A CHANCE TO DEVELOP, AND IN THE AMOUNT OF TIME THEY NEED.... I would have been defined as a drug addict, addicted to a legal substance given to children as early as age 4.